Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize