i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
