just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
