ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
