You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
