I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
