Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
