I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
