so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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