New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He did a backflip because drugs
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
