Dual....:-)
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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