I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
