even my farts smell like vagina
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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