Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Randomize
