Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
