Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
