3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
