Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I smell like Dick and happiness
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
