too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
