after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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