I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
