don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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