Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
