please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
