fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
