You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
