YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
