You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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