I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
