Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
