I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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