I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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