so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
