How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
