Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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