Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
