Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
