I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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