so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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