Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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