So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
