Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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