I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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