I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
