I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
