the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
