oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
