Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
