did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
