i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My first STD was from a foam party
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
