that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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