do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
