So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
