There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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